Closet

Lately I've been pretty DGAF about my closet. It's kind of surprising since that's a spot a tend to be very ocd about. It actually feels pretty nice just to have a spot to put stuff and not get all worked up about it not being perfect. Maybe I should stick with that. I'm sure eventually I'll fix it, but lately I just haven't felt like it!

I hate how long it takes for me to use stuff up! I guess I need to try harder. It gets kind of old after a while, but I don't want to waste it! I need to give some stuff to my sister because she's almost always willing to take stuff off my hands. Cosmetic stuff anyway.

I kind of want to make an instagram account. I thought you could do it online too, but I think it may only be for the iphone. I don't ever have anything interesting to take pictures of though.

I wonder if I should do for a period of time where I don't straighten my hair (except for bangs). What I did was take a shower at night, not brush my hair, except for the top of it and brushed it back. Then I wouldn't straighten it except for my bangs and areas that were messed up the next morning. I never brushed it except for when I mentioned before. I did this my senior year for a while. Probably up until maybe 6 months ago. Well the not straightening part (or blow drying). I was so lazy then! I've gotten a lot better about giving more time for my make up and hair so I can do a better job. I could maybe do this until I grow my hair to where I want it to be then I can start cutting it semi-regularly. I heard it's good to cut your hair like 1/2 - 1 inch every 3 months. Seems reasonable. It sounds really dumb but I can't wait until my roots start growing in! I've been taking all my vitamins. I'm glad because I'm running out of biotin, but I bought some a few days ago and they made the tablets and bottle a ton smaller for the same amount of mg. Oh yeah same amount of tablets too.

I have no idea what I want for my birthday. I thought about asking Daniel for one of the naked pallets. Another part of me wants to like swear off eye shadow for a while. I haven't been wearing it lately. I just get obsessed with it and lately my make-up has actually been looking decent without it. There's a brush I want to buy from sonia ku-whatever that they sell at target. It's just like a thin little brush you can use with gel liner. I've been using just an angled brush. I feel like I'm wasting a lot of my mac fluidline with it because of how much bristle area there is. I heard about the one I want from a make-up guru. So if she thinks that brush is the best then that's what I want to use. Especially since it's only $6.

I keep getting dizzy. I'm wondering if it's because I've been so tired lately with the time change and working a ton. It's getting really annoying though.

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I haven't been doing good the last couple days moneywise or foodwise! oh well, I'll get back on track tomorrow. Man I get so distracted when I write blogs now! I don't know why. Nothing to write about I guess. Omg everytime I chew this orbitz gum I keep feeling like I have a hair in the back of my throat. It's so annoying. I guess it's good I'm chewing the last piece.

I love the idea of the parisienne way of life. At least from what I've read. I wish I could live more like that. Parisienne women buy quality over quantity. It seems they buy pretty high-end things, but not a lot of them, and are classics. I just need to buy clothes. Sure it'd be nice to buy high end, but I have a problem just buying clothes at all. I always freeze up and find it really overwhelming. It could be because I always go shopping with Daniel who rushes me. I just love their classiness! I don't know how to achieve that. They live in cute little apartments and go shopping for fresh vegetables throughout the week. Sounds heavenly.

I just have this idea in mind of how I want to live and dress and decorate a house or apartment, but it seems so difficult to live out. Like I don't know what I would buy even if I had an unlimited amount of money. I'm so indecisive. I really need to do my taxes so maybe I can buy some new clothes with my return. That's what I did last time. I really need to buy some more feminine stuff this time.

Some people

I feel like some people have life figured out. I'm not one of those people. I am thankful for my life and the people in it. Life, I really think is about relationships and experiences. I, out of all people (being somewhat of a minimalist), should be able to live this. I want to, but I'm not. I will give myself the fact that it's really hard to where I am in life right now. My job is full of a bunch of high school kids for the most part. I go to a borderline community college for two classes a week with a bunch of business majors who I don't think even know they're business majors. I don't have anything in common with them nonetheless. I feel like it's so much easier for guys to make friends than it is for girls. For some reason I've always had a hard time building relationships with girls. I don't know why, but I'm just either intimated by girls my age or uninterested. I just don't have anything in common with most girls. Guys can connect over video games, guns, cars. Girls have...nothing. Music maybe or make-up? I just wish it were easier. Some people just connect with other people so easily, I wish I could do that. It's incredibly difficult for me.

I'm listening to "The World at Large" by Modest Mouse. I forgot how much I liked this song. Sometimes I just feel like the crazy writer you always see in movies and stuff. I mean not that I write about crazy things, but it seems like writers are never emotionally sound, including myself. I guess that's what fuels the writing.

I read this the other day from this website ( http://zodiac-signs-astrology.com/zodiac-signs/taurus.htm) I found it to be incredibly accurate. So I guess I kind of understand why I am the way I am. Some people find zodiac stuff to be completely BS, but you can't ignore it when you actually compare it to yourself.

Taurus Astrology April 20 - May 20

Taurus Strength Keywords:

- Dependable
- Persistent
- Loyal
- Patient
- Generous

Taurus Weakness Keywords:

- Stubborn
- Laziness
- Possessive
- Materialistic
- Self-indulging

Taurus and Independence:

Taurus is not the one who ventures out into the unknown and leads the way, Taurus is the one that will follow the leader and strengthen and build upon the discovered, in other words they are the one that will "dot the I's and cross the T's". This perseverance is given to them by their stubborn streak. Taurus stubborn streak is what gives their independence. They like to do things their way. They are perfectly fine on being alone, this way things get done they way they want them to be done. Taurus is not a follower, but they are not the brave one either. Taurus is perfectly independent. With their perseverance, they get things done and can do quite well for themselves.

Taurus and Friendship:

A Taurus is an excellent friend. Taurus has few close friends as opposed to many acquaintances. The few people they hold dear to them are guarded and protected. Their friends are treated like family and they are fiercely loyal and dependable. Taurus loves to be the host or hostess. Although not a total social butterfly, they can be shy around strangers, the people who Taurus let into their lives are lavishly catered to when Taurus decides to throw a party, they decorate and present everything lavishly. Taurus will always pamper themselves and their close group of friends.

Taurus and Business:

Taurus is a strong business person. Taurus is the one who has immense perseverance, even when others have given up, the Taurus rages on. They have a knack for finance and their financial advice is prized. They know where money is to be made and have the ability to manipulate and set the path for their own success. Taurus are not frivolous spenders but they like to live lavishly and surround themselves with nice possessions and foods, which all adds up resulting in large spending habits. They will not spend all their money and cause their business to fail because if they do, their security and stability will be gone and this will cause them great stress.

Taurus Temperament:

Taurus are deeply sensitive, the slightest comment or negative remark will be taken personally and they can easily get offended or hurt. Their stubborn streak results in laziness. They can be very lazy when someone gives them orders or wants them to do something they do not want to do. They are not lazy when it comes to themselves,

Taurus Deep Inside:

Taurus are not fond of change. In fact, is change is imminent, they get very nervous and worried. They do not like anything new because anything new is unknown and Taurus fears the unknown. Taurus needs order in their lives and when they do not have order, they get very anxious. Taurus will cut themselves off from the unfamiliar in order to avoid the feelings of insecurity that arise when new experiences and situations are present. Taurus do not express their feelings openly and their inner self is contained and secretive. Many people do not know how sensitive Taurus really is, they hide it well. As a result, they are often emotionally hurt when the wrong things are said, they take things too personally sometimes. Taurus avoids talking about their emotions and many people never really know how they feel.

Taurus in a Nutshell:

Taurus is the one who has immense perseverance, even when others have given up, the Taurus rages on. Solid and persistent, just like the bull, which is Taurus' well suited symbol. Taurus's have a well known reputation for being stubborn, which is not necessarily a bad thing. The stubborn streak can cause Taurus to butt heads and conflict with other strong character types. Taurus are not fond of change. They like the familiar and routine comfort of life. Taurus is easy going and not one to pick a fight but should some poor souls attempt to provoke Taurus, the wrath will be known, for they have a temper underneath the calm surface. Taurus are very responsive to their surroundings. They like decorations, color, anything that appeals to all the senses. Taurus like possessions and the Taurus home is nicely decorated with lots of things. Taurus are down to earth, they do not like gaudy, flashy or over the top things. They prefer comfortable and creative settings and objects. Taurus likes security, in every aspect of their lives from home, to love, to career. Taurus can be secretive, opinionated and stingy. Taurus tend to be self-indulgent and lazy, Taurus are master procrastinators of the astrology zodiac! They do however have a strong, persistent drive that comes to life when they chose, and no one would ever know that they are lazy. The secret to this is that their laziness is pushed aside when it comes to themselves.

Taurus Love, Sex and Relationships

What it's like to date a Taurus Woman:

Taurus women are masters in the art of seduction. She will get what she wants but her patience is incredible, she will wait for what she wants She needs stability and security and will not tolerate a man who is not straight with her and leads her along with uncertainty in the future. She is the old-fashioned type, the type of woman who is associated with the drive-in soda shop days of the 60's. She is down to earth, protective, supportive, loving, devoted and loyal. She is openly affectionate in a relationship. Taurus women is perfect for the man who likes to be nurtured and pampered, providing you are loyal and devoted. She has a lot to give but she requires a lot in return. Remember, the Taurus woman is very sensitive although she might not seem so on the exterior. Court her and constantly try to impress her and you will win her heart and she will be yours. Cross a Taurus woman, and her temper will flare, she will become extremely stubborn. If you ever break her trust, it will be nearly impossible to gain it back again.

What it's like to date a Taurus Man:

The Taurus man is very sensible, he is not the man to sweep you off your feet. He is practical and down to earth. He wants a high quality woman, not a woman for one night. He will survey cautiously before he makes his approach. He is very patient when it comes to a relationship. He will survey the situation and make sure the woman has something to offer him, before he offers himself. Taurus man is a romantic man, he will put his woman on a pedestal, protect her and cherish her. Once he has chosen his woman, he will be very generous, loyal and faithful. He is not a boring man, but he is not for the woman who craves adventure and excitement. Taurus man is for the woman who craves stability and comfort, he is an incredible provider and is a very fine choice as a partner for the right woman. He is in it for the long haul so commitment is no problem for this man.

How To Attract Taurus:

Do not attempt to rush into a relationship with Taurus. They are very patient and expect you to be so too. Make them laugh, if they are amused and entertained by you, they will enjoy being with you. The way to a Taurus' heart is through their stomachs. Cook for them or offer to take them to a fine upscale restaurant. Taurus enjoy talking about finance, business, money and material possessions.

Taurus Erogenous Zone:

The throat and neck are the hot spots for any Taurus. Lightly rub the neck, kiss it gently, lick it lightly, even a soft nipple will make them melt like butter! Massage the back of the neck while you are relaxing, this relax them and set the mood for passion!

Sex With Taurus:

They are passionate lovers. They have lots of physical stamina and this makes up for the lack of variety in the sex life.

Eating

So far I think I'm doing pretty well which I'm surprised about! Usually I would've caved by now. Although I did have a pepsi today. Also we went out to dairy queen (with a friend who invited us). Not entirely justified, but I got a turkey sandwich, and a small portion of fries and a coke zero. I feel like I can actually kind of see results though. I have a pair of jeans that I wear and usually the thighs are so tight i can't even scratch my legs, but today they had some wiggle room. They could be stretched out, but I'd like to think I lost weight. I don't really want to step on the scale. Usually when they're loose in the waist from me wearing them, the legs aren't ever baggy at all. Also it probably helps that I'm working 6 days a week. I run all over that stupid restaurant!

I've also been keeping my room clean! lol Usually with work and stuff I just throw my clothes on the ground and make-up. the last few days I've been picking everything up as soon as I make a mess. My room is seriously spotless 50% and messy 50%

I decided despite my hair being really damaged, I'm not going to cut it. I need to be patient. The shampoo I bought is doing a very good job of holding me over. I need to get into the habit of not washing it every day again.

You know if I could change two things about my personality, I would want to be less of an introvert and less of a perfectionist. I hate how shy and introverted I am. It's got in the way of making friends and it's so hard to change. I also hate how much of a perfectionist I am. I spent way too much time worrying about how I want my life to be rather than enjoying the current life I've been given. I think the perfectionist thing would be easier to change than the introvert thing. Although I've been both ways my entire life. I shouldn't want to change things about me, but they're getting in the way of me making the most of my life.

So far

So far my "crash diet for my bank account" has been working. Well I've been keeping up with it anyway. No fast food yet! We did go out on St. Patty's day, but Daniel's mom paid for it. I got fish and chips and we got chips and queso as an appetizer. Not that healthy. It tore my stomach up too in the middle of the night. Anyway! I've been eating healthier the last few days. :D and drinking a lot of water. Well more than I usually do. My skin seems like it's clearing up a bit too.

Maybe I can get Daniel to start running with me again. We ran like once. If I can get into this healthy eating I'll probably be more into exercising. Oh yeah my book came in the mail today. I was looking through it and 400 calories isn't much..I'd probably end up adding a bit more to it.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8YpeE-USFw&feature=plcp&context=C44b8229VDvjVQa1PpcFMOXyf5iWjUqkTnNjp1e_-XGmD-6t885KI%3D

I watched this video today from one of the Luxy sisters. One of the girls (the one I personally like better) had stopped dying her hair. This is a pretty old video. I really enjoyed it though. It gave me just some extra inspiration. As if I didn't already have enough! lol. I'm just really excited about this whole experience! I know it's going to take like two years. It kind of sucks because before I was just trying to grow out my dark hair (which I've spent a year doing already.) Now I'm trying to get "virgin" hair. Part of me really wants to cut it, but I don't think I'm going to. Maybe it will grow faster if I'm not dying it. Probably not. I'm thinking of growing out my layers too. I really want more of a classy style and I can't get it with razored uneven layers all over the place.

I'm really excited about all this! If only I could make it grow faster! lol. I've been taking vitamins, so hopefully that will help. It seemed like it was helping before I did all that stuff to it.

Natural products. Hm. I was really into this for a while, but lately I haven't been as much. I just started missing the smells and the price of the more "mainstream" brands. I want to get back into it again. The shampoo I have now isn't really natural, but it doesn't have any sulfates or parabens which is good.  It is really good for your hair though. I'm a little sad because I bought some John Freida red shampoo for when my hair was red and used it like 3 or 4 times since I was washing my hair every other day (to preserve the color). So since I'm not doing my hair red now I have a ton of the stuff left! It was pretty pricey too! I tried using it one day and it seemed like my hair got more red. It could be just my imagination. I guess it will just make $16 body wash and shaving cream. Oh yeah, the "asheyness" that was saving my hair from being red is disappearing :( I used the toning shampoo today to see if it would help, but I can't really tell a difference. So now it's still pretty light reddish brown instead of ash blonde. Oh well, I'm not dying it anymore!

It's so hard because the best thing I can do right now is just forget about my hair, but I can't!

Crash diet for my bank account

Otherwise known as saving. I'm really going to try this and stick with it. For the next few months or so, I'm going to try my hardest not too buy ANYTHING non-essential. Daniel agreed to not eat fast food. We're going to try it for at least a month or so first. I'm at a good point right now as far as beauty products go. I'm not going to allow myself to buy any make-up unless I run out of something. If I run out of pencil I may try just using my mac fluidline and only that. I've got most of my spending out of my system now that I've been working more. So I think I'm ready to take a break and start saving. There's really nothing that I can think of that I "need" to buy besides essentials for right now. I may get a few new items of clothes once it gets warmer. I'm gonna have a hard time with the vending machines at school! That and fast food will be the hardest for me. I really don't even buy clothes or accessories or shoes or anything that often.

Oh yeah today I bought a bracelet I'm gonna wear when I get married! :D It's the first thing I've bought for the wedding. I figured I'd start small. I have a feeling I'm going to buy my dress last. This picture isn't mine, but looks just like it except mine has 4 rows. It looks a lot fancier on.

I've been looking at shoes online. These are what I found so far.

I probably like the first ones better, but those are online, and have a pretty high heel. The other ones are from belk and have a lower heel which will be easier to walk on. Plus they got 10 repins and 7 likes on pinterest. Where as the first ones didn't get anything. It's still early, but idk. I kind of want to get that stuff out of the way.

As far as the dress goes, I'm not really sure. I know I want gemstones on it or crystals or whatever. I would probably like a v-neck with a low back. Maybe "ruched."

Bored

Lately I've been kind of bored of the internet. Pinterest included. There's really nothing else to do either. Daniel's on his xbox, so I can't watch netflix. I'm not even in the mood for that anyway.

I want my hair to grow so bad! I want to have "virgin" hair again! Once I do (if I stick with it) it will be the first time since 6th grade! I can't believe I've been dying my hair that long. That's 9 years! I guess that's why I'm so excited about it! The color my hair turned out actually isn't even close to my natural color. It's like a shade or two darker and a lot more reddish and muddy looking. It's more brown, where as my natural color is definitely more blonde.

If I could pull off short hair, and if hair grew quicker, I would cut it.

I don't know why I like this style so much. I don't think it would even suite me. Maybe it would idk. I just I know I would regret it like 2 weeks later.

dkjgl

It feels so much earlier than it really is (11:49 the clock on my blog is wrong for some reason. I tried changing it many times, but can't figure it out). I just bought that "cookbook" I was talking about the other day! I found it on ebay for $5. I think I can swing that. lol. I tried to pay my doctor's bills tonight, but the website was down. Go figure.

Daniel and I went grocery shopping today and we did really well! Everything we got was healthy except for a bag of reeses eggs Daniel threw in. lol. i realized I really am not a sweets person. I just finished a small tube of m&m's daniel's mom bought me for christmas like a week ago. I also have like 1/3 of a chocolate orange left in my dresser drawer also from christmas. That reminded me because Daniel gave me a reeses egg like 4 or 5 days ago and I haven't eaten it yet. I'm really thankful I'm not a sweets person in addition to being a greaseaholic. I'm definitely more of a pizza and fries kind of girl. I bought a 4 pack of tuna :) I don't know why I've been so into tuna lately. I've been getting it at subway lately and it's pretty good. I really want to make a tuna melt. I'm really excited about the cookbook. The internet overwhelms me! I like healthy eating, but I'm not very creative with it. Every time I go to the grocery store I never know what to buy.

I need to start bringing a tea bag to work everyday. When I bring tea to work it holds me over and makes me not want to drink soda. I'm really getting tired of working 6 shifts a week. I was originally scheduled for 7 this week until I called my manager out on it cause she tried to schedule me for a day I asked off. Then she tried to schedule me that night! But luckily she gave the shift to someone else. I am so over this job..

At school

I don't even have much to write about. I just am bored right now. I really wish the blogger iPhone app had landscape mode.

As a minimalist I keep thinking of this place that doesn't exist for me right now. A mostly empty room. I just can't stop thinking about it! My ideal room would be white. With a futon on the floor. Bare walls. Close to empty closet. Probably no desk. I don't know about a dresser. Cause I don't know where I would put my undies and such. I guess I would still have my tv and Xbox even though I don't use them much. I'd probably have a drawer thing for hobby stuff and that's it. That's pretty unrealistic though. I tried the whole wear 5 shirts thing and it sucks. If I didn't sweat a lot it would probably be ok. I really want to have less but it's so hard! I can't decide what needs to go.

Yup

So I do believe I'm finished with my hair for now. It's not perfect, but it's good enough. It turned out kind of dark, despite the fact I got light ash blonde. Oh well. It's definitely manageable. I'll probably take a picture soon, but not tonight. Now I just have to wait for it to grow. I haven't cut it yet, but it needs to be cut. I'm thinking of just going to fantastic sam's or something and getting like and inch cut off cause it needs to happen. I realllly don't want to but I need to.

I'm in a good mood today. Something good happened but I don't want to say what it is in case it falls through.

On another note, I went and bought a few somewhat healthy goodies today. :) I went to the dollar tree in buford (a big one) and bought 2 bags of almonds, ranch sunflower seeds, banana chips, I think some trail mix, wheat crackers, and this hot sauce the girl from youtube I've been watching likes. From wal-mart, they had this 5 snacks for $5 thing. I would describe them, but it's really hard to. Some healthy, some not. There's this thing you youtube girl was talking about I want to try. She was talking about mixing tuna fish with that hot sauce and adding some sort of seasoning to it and then putting it on crackers. That way I wouldn't have to use mayo and it could be a lot healthier. Oo I just thought of somethings. Adding sweet relish to the tuna also could be good.  There's a book I want to buy (pictured left) I found it for like $8 somewhere, but I need to pay off some doctor's bills first. I was flipping through it the other day at a bookstore at it seemed pretty good. The ideas weren't too hard to put together which I liked. That's what turns me off to a lot of cook books is the cooking part I guess lol. I like just being able to throw things together without having to cook them, if you get what I mean (ex. tuna fish and crackers).

I getting frustrated with my room again. Well I guess I could say I'm frustrated with myself. I'm just never satisfied with my amount of things :( it's like the opposite of consumerism. I'm not even sure what it is I want to get rid of right now in particular. I just know I want there to be less. I want to buy some of those storage boxes from ikea. I think it would settle me some. There's so many things I want to change right now, that I just have to be happy with because I have no choice. I really wish my mattress was on the floor. I hate it being up so high. It makes me feel stuck up.

I just thought of a new way to store my jewelry. I saw it somewhere and thought it was my style, but I already had a way of storing my jewelery. The necklace holder I have though looks better as a decoration than it does as a necklace holder. So maybe I'll store my jewelry that way, and just use that thing is a decoration.

Oh yeah one thing I have a lot of are bags. There's these two purses I've been debating on getting rid of that are just huge! I think I had a post about them when I first started this blog. They're both cute, but just not useful to me because of how big they are. I don't think I've used them once since I wrote that blog a year ago, so it may be time to get rid of them. Or at least one.

Another thing that seems like it's been getting in my way a lot lately is hobby type things. I don't want to get rid of them, but each hobby has some big container associated with it. My knitting has a big bag, my sewing stuff goes in a big sewing kit, my lomo camera has a big bag to itself, and my watercolors have a metal basket thing. I have this three drawer thing I left at my moms house, but I'm thinking of taking it back and using it for that. It's funny because I don't actually do any of these things on a daily basis. A real minimalist would get rid of them, but I can't do it. I don't really want to.

I know I actually don't have that much stuff. It's just the way my room is. Stuff that people would store in an attic such as luggage, a mini christmas tree, ornaments for said tree, keep sakes, winter clothes, vases and some kitchen wear (teapot, reusable cups, 1 food storage container) are all stored in my room rather than in an attic. I wish I could put my stuff in another room, but I can't :( .

Whenever Daniel and I have a house I actually kind of want a 3 bedroom with a basement. I would like one room for myself. It would be mostly empty of course. I would use it as a craftroom/yoga room.  I'd have a desk and maybe a bookcase, but besides that (and craft stuff) It would be empty. Then Daniel can have the basement or the other room, or both maybe for his music and media and stuff. I really want some storage area though. I need somewhere to put those things I was talking about or else I'll go crazy. I have got to get rid of that pile of stuff! Maybe I'll do it next time I go to my moms. I'm giving the dvd's to them. And the vases. I just need to get it away from me.

I want the naked pallets so bad. I think that's what I'm going to ask Daniel for for my birthday. Well one anyway lol.