Depression

I am not depressed. Just to clear that up front. For some reason this morning I woke up just kind of angry towards what I like to call "chronically depressed people." Those people who are just always depressed. When I think about these people I'm just annoyed! I understand there are people who actually do have excuses for being depressed (losing a loved one, having cancer, knowing someone who has cancer etc.), but besides that category of people I am just irritated at them. Lately I've been typing all my old journal entries onto my computer. And man were some of them depressing! I used to be one of those people! From reading those entries day after day of being sad and borderline suicidal, I realized something. I was doing it to myself. I was the one staying in that particular situation. I would write about how sad I was and how life just kind of sucked, and you know what? I didn't do one thing about it. I just kept letting it happen. Day after day same sad things. In some points in my life I was hurt. Very badly. A lot of which still affect me every day. Anxiety, low self-esteem, etc. But I let those things happen. I allowed myself to get hurt. So you know what? I really don't have anyone to blame, but myself. You ALWAYS have a choice.

I'm not that person anymore. I'm not wallowing in my own pity party (not that I'm depressed, because I'm not). I stopped feeling sorry for myself and put myself out there. And guess what happened? I met the most amazing person I've met in my entire life! I'm the happiest I've ever been and we're engaged! Being depressed got me nowhere! Now I couldn't be happier!

I'm just tired of people being sad all time! If something bothers you that much change it! Fat? Start working out. Bad relationship? Get out. Credit card debt? Stop spending money on non-essentials until the debt is paid off. I mean I don't know. I've been there. I'm not one of those people who has been a ray of sunshine my entire life. I've hit rock bottom. I know it sucks. The only person who can help you is yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and change what you don't like!