At school again

Man I'll be completely done with this semester a week from now! I can't wait! On my agenda I have to study for accounting then the test, write a paper, and take an online pe exam. I finished my yoga final last night. I should probably start on my paper. I just can never get the motivation. It doesn't even have to be that long. My tuition is due on the 6th :(

I'm gonna stop talking about school since I can't think of anything to say about it right now. Hmm I'm not sure what I want to write about. I cannot wait until Christmas break! I really want to get better at knitting while on the break.

I really want to start eating better! I bought an apple juice today instead of a soda which is a start! I know apple juice still has a lot of sugar in it. I need to break my soda addiction! I think 2 weeks is kind of the marker for when I shouldn't crave it as much. So I guess I'll start today since I haven't had any today. The other day I was trying to come up with a list of healthy snacks. Now I just need to buy them. However I need to plan healthier meals. Today I had oatmeal and milk for breakfast. For lunch I had like half a can of lentil soup. So I'm actually doing pretty good today! Here are some of the snack ideas I came up with:

Bananas

Cut up apples

Cut up apples and grapes

Grapes

Some sort of trail mix (popcorn, cheerios, crasions, m&ms vanilla pudding powder mix)

Carrots

Carrots & celery

Celery with laughing cow cheese

Pita chips

Nuts

Berries

String cheese

Cheerios

I need to come up with some healthy, quick meals. Canned soup is usually pretty good. I saw these things I want to try. I forgot what they're called, but they're like veggie fries that you bake. Well I guess I should probably go. I don't want to! Even though I'm just going to go watch a movie in my class.

Cabins

Lately I've really been liking woods themed things. Cabins being one of them. Maybe it's the simplicity again and kind of reaches back to my little house on the prairie nostalgia, but I've been into them lately. Modern ones more specifically. I like the woody exterior, but I'm not so sold on the interior. Maybe we don't need to own one.

Daniel has actually planned a trip for us in the middle of December to go to a cabin right around Gatlinburg, TN. I hope it snows! hehe! Anyway, I'm pretty excited! We're going with 3 other people. I want to try minimally packing since it will only be for 3 days and 2 nights. Hmm maybe I should make a list of what to bring (my things not joint things like medicine, toothpaste)

1 pair of jeans (I don't want to bring another but I may because if it does snow, they'll get wet)
2 shirts
1 cardigan
1 jacket
gloves
2 hats (hehe)
1 scarf
3 pairs of socks
3 pairs of undies
1 bra
bathing suite (hot tub)
boots (I need to get some that can withstand snow and nature)
moccassins or boots I just bought

hairbrush
toothbrush
deodorant
make-up (concealer, foundation, powder, eyeliner, mascara)
scrunchies
shampoo
conditioner
body wash
straightener
hair dryer
make-up remover

That seems like just about everything. Not super minimal, but some girls would bring like 5 pairs of pants for 3 days. The 2 hats are probably excessive but oh well :)

That feeling

You get when you just feel kind of down about yourself. I hate it. When you just feel not very cool, not skinny enough, etc. I need to stop allowing myself to do that. I was looking on pinterest at a girl's folder of tattoos. Of course there's skinny girls with nice tattoos all over. *sigh* I've really got to stop drinking soda. I know I can cut at least a few pounds by doing that.

Social websites like facebook and pinterest if you count that influence me so easily. I always feel much better about myself when I stay away from them. Maybe I should do that for a while.

My "get rid of pile"

It's driving me crazy! I don't have it in my closet. I did that on purpose so I would go through it. There's some vases in there that I want my mom to hang on to until I get a place since they take up a lot of room. So I wouldn't actually be getting rid of those. I want plants, but I don't have room for them right now. There is also if I remember correctly some reusable grocery bags and a zippered bag thing for storage. Not sure what I should do with those because I feel like I can use them. 2 lamps. 1 is a big floor lamp. It looks like this.

I don't use it or have room for it. I know I should probably hang onto it. I also have a desk lamp that I don't use that I should probably hang onto. I have a camera bag that I'm not sure if I should get rid of or not. I had all my lomo stuff in it, but the bag is so big! Also it has colors that I like and it was .99. Camera bags are expensive to replace. I also have a media shelf thing that I've mentioned. Daniel doesn't want it right now, but he says he wants it. I wish he would take it if he did want it. Then there's this organizer that you put in closets. I may try to use that for scarves and hats. I think that's it besides some clothes I'm not sure about. I guess I can take those vases to my mom's for now and go from there. I'm getting pretty close to the end of the line. I'm hoping I'll be done once I decide on that pile.

I went through my keepsakes and didn't end up getting rid of much. Oh well. I can focus on it more once the other stuff is dealt with.

Ahh! I want to go home! I'm at school right now. My class was cancelled, but I still have another class today! This is my last day before our 3 day break (wish we had a week). I have to work a bunch though :( I do need the money. But I'm off thanksgiving! We're not even open :)

:)

For some reason the last few days I've really been wanting a puppy/dog. Being a cat person this was a surprise for me. I just started thinking about my mom's dogs and how loyal they are. Always happy to see me, be by my side, sleep near me. Then I stumbled upon this health blog http://undressedskeleton.tumblr.com/ and saw a picture on a post she had of making organic dog treats for her dog. This is the picture from her blog that got me:

Then I started thinking: how awesome would it be to have a little cute companion to spoil? Obviously I don't want a dog just so I can make it treats. (I don't even think I'd do that). I want an animal that will come to me whenever I call it, will let me chase it (playing), play tug of war, snuggle under the blankets with me, go for rides with me, let me dress it up with cute sweaters when it's cold. A dog.

So I started researching breeds. [I would like to adopt if I can, but if not I may have to go to a breeder :( ] The dogs I were interested in were all terriers. Small, don't shed, calm. As I was researching there was one thing in the back of my head: Daniel doesn't like dogs. But I thought to myself, maybe I can change his mind. After bringing it up a few times and getting let down, I didn't give up. It wasn't so much as a surrender as it was a confusion. He didn't want a terrier. I was a little sad, but soon moved on, because I had accomplished something. I convinced him. Once we changed the criteria a little bit we found the perfect breed for us. They're called papillons. The above picture is a puppy.

They have these adorable butterfly ears and they're the perfect size! I was really surprised Daniel liked them! But I'm very happy. They're very smart. This breed does a lot of agility type things. One bad thing though. I've seen them go anywhere from $800-$2000. Also we're not getting it now besides the money since we still live with his mom. They're so cute though! I can't wait until the day comes when we can get one. I still love cats. Papillons and cats seem like they play well together which is awesome! I want one so bad!

Getting rid of stuff

I brought over two bags worth of stuff to my moms today for her to go through. I know it seems like I'm dumping that stuff off and I kind of am. I just can't handle it being in my room. I'll help her get rid of the rest to goodwill but right now I just need to get it out of my room. After that stuff it's really about making decisions if I really want it or not. I have 2 lamps a media shelf thing. Daniel said he wants it but he's not taking it so maybe I'll give it to my brother. A vase with peacock feathers my mom gave me for my 18th birthday. A couple vases. That's just about it. I have this little table that isn't being used but I just don't have the room or use for it but I know we'll need it in our living room when we move out.

I also did something good today. I emptied this shampoo and conditioner down the drain. It's the garnier fructise "biodegradable" shampoo. That stuff sucked so much. I was trying to use it up but it's seriously like one of the worst shampoos I've ever used. It made my hair soo greasy. I only had about 1/4 bottle left for both so I just pulled the trigger and did it. I'm tired of waiting. Because I was planning on dying my hair when I finished that shampoo since it has sulfates in it which fade hair. I actually want my hair to fade because the ends are dark but once I dye it I'm not going to use any shampoo with sulfates. So maybe I'll dye it soon. I'm going to do it a light red color. I'm pretty excited. It should show up pretty well this time since my hair is pretty light on top. Also the last few times I've done it I've done it a dark red and it always is too dark. I can't wait! I need a little more money in my account though. So maybe this weekend.

I threw out all my old journals.

Crazy I know. Honestly, it feels amazing. I won't really go into detail, but I'm glad I did. I'm still in shock, but it feels good at the same time. I'm actually doing really well for the progress of my 2011 goals. So far I've:

Taken a picture of the art I don't want and got rid of it
Done with the journals thing since they're gone
"got rid" of the future stuff (i haven't got rid of it yet, but it's in my pile to get rid of so i will soon)

I still need to:

get a flash drive to back scanned stuff up
go through keepsakes and get rid of a lot of them
pay library fees
convert to all physicians formula make up
*I still need to switch out my mascara, pencil liner, and liquid liner, I'm not worried about my eyeshadows for now
(edit) I also need to get rid of all the stuff in my "get rid of" pile

so yeah! it feels pretty good!

Christmas

Today Daniel and I were briefly discussing Christmas. I have no idea what I want. As I've mentioned before, sure I'm a minimalist, but I do like things. Just the best and not in excess! I have just about everything I want! Definitely what I need! I kind of want to come up with a list though of things that are on my wishlist. lol

1. Epilator (hair remover thing)
2. stereo for my car. mine came with one but it's broken and was installed really bad, so i just took it out. It was just making me sad being in there. so yeah i don't have one at all right now. although my iphone speaker does come in handy
3. luggage. i haven't decided what kind yet, but i need something. Duffel bags haven't been cutting it. i haven't exactly tried traveling lightly though. last time i actually traveled i still had a huge wardrobe. i like this one but it's only carry on size. (i'm not quite that minimal yet!)

4. good pair of tweezers
5. physcians formula pencil eyeliner (black)
6. physicians formula felt pen liner
7. physicians formula concealer (green on one end skin color on the other)
8. 2-3 pairs of skinny jeans that aren't ripped
9. toiletry bag from amazon

10. slouchy grey hat. i really want one but i'd have to pick it out cause i'm picky. I like the style of these:

11. eco tools eye shadow brushes

12. physcian's formula mascara (black; thickening)
13. faux fur blanket (natural colored like the one on top)

Well I think that's it. Some expensive things mixed in with some not so expensive things.

Depression

I am not depressed. Just to clear that up front. For some reason this morning I woke up just kind of angry towards what I like to call "chronically depressed people." Those people who are just always depressed. When I think about these people I'm just annoyed! I understand there are people who actually do have excuses for being depressed (losing a loved one, having cancer, knowing someone who has cancer etc.), but besides that category of people I am just irritated at them. Lately I've been typing all my old journal entries onto my computer. And man were some of them depressing! I used to be one of those people! From reading those entries day after day of being sad and borderline suicidal, I realized something. I was doing it to myself. I was the one staying in that particular situation. I would write about how sad I was and how life just kind of sucked, and you know what? I didn't do one thing about it. I just kept letting it happen. Day after day same sad things. In some points in my life I was hurt. Very badly. A lot of which still affect me every day. Anxiety, low self-esteem, etc. But I let those things happen. I allowed myself to get hurt. So you know what? I really don't have anyone to blame, but myself. You ALWAYS have a choice.

I'm not that person anymore. I'm not wallowing in my own pity party (not that I'm depressed, because I'm not). I stopped feeling sorry for myself and put myself out there. And guess what happened? I met the most amazing person I've met in my entire life! I'm the happiest I've ever been and we're engaged! Being depressed got me nowhere! Now I couldn't be happier!

I'm just tired of people being sad all time! If something bothers you that much change it! Fat? Start working out. Bad relationship? Get out. Credit card debt? Stop spending money on non-essentials until the debt is paid off. I mean I don't know. I've been there. I'm not one of those people who has been a ray of sunshine my entire life. I've hit rock bottom. I know it sucks. The only person who can help you is yourself. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and change what you don't like!

Digitizing

Today is 11-11-11 !!

Man it takes a lot time. I decided to do my art today. I haven't got rid of it yet. But I did take pictures of just about all of it. I left out stuff that I either really didn't like, or would probably keep (because I'm keeping it). I actually ended up keeping more of it than i thought I would. Who knows I may get rid of more. This was just my first round. I'm going to ask my mom if she wants any of the stuff I don't want. Whatever she doesn't want I'll toss the rest. I really don't see a point in keeping art that I'm not proud of/don't particularly like looking at. But I don't want to completely forget about it. Man I want to be done!!! With all the stuff in my closet that I don't want gone! I'll probably start getting rid of that stuff when I'm done with my journals and everything. I'll feel better once the paper is gone for my journals and art. Cause right now I feel like I haven't actually done anything.

I'm working 3 times this weekend and have an accounting test on Monday so I probably won't get to do that much this weekend. Oh yeah i kind of cut the ends on my hair today. I've cut my ends like 3 times on the last 2 months or so, but I almost never cut that much. However today I cut more than I usually do. The last 2 times i did it, the ends were still really dead. So I'm guessing I cut off like 1/2 of the lowest layer. I did a tiny bit on the layer above that, but I stopped cause I was scared I was going to cut too much. I think in like 2 or 3 months I want to go to a salon and get my ends cut. Cause I did kind of a botchy job. It's not bad, it's just not good. I know there's still more split ends though. But they go up like 4 or 5 inches because of how my hair is cut (razored). So I'm not cutting off that much. I'll just have to keep doing it like this for a while.

Man I'm tired of waiting for stuff! My dark hair to grow out so i can dye it red, my hair to get longer, me to be done with digitizing everything, me to be done with accounting, me to get a better job, me to finish shampoo I don't like. Ugh!! It's getting so annoying! Yeah life could definitely be worse, but it's still annoying.

I'm not exactly sure why I feel like writing

Since I've been copying journal entries like a madwoman the last few days. I'm still not done! I still have sooo much more to go. It's really annoying, tedious work. I've got to get it done though. I won't be satisfied until it is. Man I can't wait until it's done. It's like getting a house built or something, and it seems like it takes for ever and you won't be happy until it's done. But when it is, it's like the best thing ever. I really need to back up my hard drive though. I haven't done that in a really long time. I know my art will go a lot better. Maybe slightly harder to get rid of though. Oh well. I guess we'll see when we get there.

I'm at school right now

Waiting for class to start. I've got like 30 min. So this morning I woke up completely motivated to go through that stuff :) so I did. And I'm happy. I ended up taking out A LOT. Not that there was a ton to begin with. I'm happy with the results. What I ended up doing was completely eliminating an entire bin. The stuff that was left over I was able to fit in my dresser. I actually took everything out of all the bins. In one bin I put all my keepsakes that there is no way I'm getting rid of. In the other bin I put keepsakes that I want to go though and may consider getting rid of. Nothing else is in those bins! :D I'm very happy about that. One of the bins had art in it but I took all of it out so I can go through it and photograph it and such. I do have a couple small bins too. But I'll explain those. One has christmas ornaments for me and Daniels tiny tree that I also have. So I'm not touching that one. The other two are in the keepsake boxes because they're also keepsakes. Just tiny ones.

I'm getting so close I can taste it! Lol. So tonight when Daniels at his guys night I am all over this. Typing journal entries and taking pictures of art. However I already know I'm probably not going to get through my journals. That's probably like close to 8 hours of work if I had to guess. Maybe even more. I can't believe how much I've written over my lifetime! Eventually this is going to go with the rest of my journals. I really don't even keep a journal anymore besides this blog. It's funny my very last paper entry was like a couple days before I started this blog. Take a wild guess what that entry was about? Minimalism. Not really a surprise.

So yeah if it's not obvious I've started another "debating" pile in my closet. This is similar to all the stuff that was in my attic at my old house. Everything I "decide" I don't want goes there until I actually get rid of it. Which could take some time but I'm guessing not more than a month or so. I'll probably get rid of everything once I'm done with my journals and stuff. I need to sell my old textbooks too. They're on amazon right now but I guess I need to decrease the price. They're all stacked in my closet taking up space. Well I guess I should get to class.

I'm sleepy

but I kind of feel like writing. not sure what about. This time change has completely got me out of sorts. I am so ready for this semester/year to be over. Although on a good note, I believe in my accounting class the material should be a lot easier than it has been :) I have a feeling I'm actually going to maybe get an A or B in accounting 2. That would be super fantastic. The hardest parts should be over. AND I got a 90 on the first test and a 76 on the second. I'm actually enthused about both because I thought I completely bombed the second one. After this semester everything should be somewhat smooth sailing. I'll have time for a better job, not have to drive as much, only 2 classes next semester (that's all that's left for my associates also they're with the same teacher. Daniel had him and loves him), since I don't have to drive as much and should have time to work more, I'll have more money! Finally. How's that for a run on sentence. I'm really excited. Also I just started thinking about new year's resolutions. Yeah it's a little early. Let's see that I can come up with. Actually I may have a different take on this. Let's see what I can accomplish before the new year. This is what I would like to have done

1. all journal entries typed ( i have been working on this, but it will definitely take some time)
2. get rid of less important keepsakes/take pictures of what I get rid of
3. purchase 1 or 2 flash drives to make sure everything is backed up (I have a portable hard drive too, but I need to be sure. This is most of my life journalized. Some of 99 through 11)
4. convert to all physicians formula make up if i can 
5. pay my library fees!! i've had them since 2008! I actually have a hold on my account now because i owe $14 (i thought the cut off was $15 but whatever)
6. maybe get rid of my "future" stuff. let's see what we need when we get there. I can't even remember what's in there. I think a lot of vases, plastic plates, and bowls.
7. take a picture of the art I don't want and get rid of it.

If I get all that done, I should be right where I want to be minimalist wise. Then I can focus on the new year living life. Trying new hobbies, working towards my future, live. I really wish I could be more motivated to do these things without meeting my "goal" but I just can't. I'm such a black and white kind of person. They way I work is I have to focus on one thing, finish it in it's entirely, and then move on to the next. I can't start something else until the other thing is done. for the most part this system works pretty well, but for other times, it's rather annoying. Like in this instance. I just become obsessed with something until it's "finished". If you can remember reading my very earliest entries with the whole lotion thing. so I hope to be done by the new year, but we'll see.

i guess it's good daniel is having a guys night tomorrow, because now I'm super motivated to do all these things. i'm so pathetic, because I'm getting so excited at the thought of all this being done.

&^*^*%

I finally started doing some stuff that I've been wanting to do for a long time. I finally scanned everything I need to (there may be some stuff I still need to but I'm pretty sure there's not.)! Also, I decided I don't want to keep any of the movies I wanted copied. I realized I literally have not watched almost any of movies more than like twice. There's no point in keeping them. If I really want to watch them, I'll find a way. So I haven't got rid of them yet, but made the decision I don't want them. All I really have to do now is get all my journal entries typed up. That's going to take a really long time. Most people would probably want to keep the paper copies, but there's not point. I haven't reread any of my journals since I wrote them. I just want a digital copy so I can ditch all the paper. All I want is the content. Not the sloppy preteen hand writing. When I get that done it will be a huge accomplishment. I know it will be very satisfying. Much more satisfying than having the paper copies laying around taking up space. The emptiness is more worth the few seconds of nostalgia I would have if I were to ever reread those journals.


You know once I decided I wanted to be a minimalist, I never thought I would want to go as far as I already have. I know I will still go further. I don't know when I'll stop. I really don't want to be one of those having only a backpack kind of people. But I still don't want a lot. I wonder what 100 things would look like? If I ever did that I wouldn't include keepsakes and photos and such. Maybe I'll try it one day. Clothes would be hard for me though. I'm guessing for my clothing items not including undies, socks, accessories, shoes things like that but jackets, pants, shirts is probably around 50. Probably less than more. I guess we'll just see what happens!

I rearranged my room the other day

I did like it. Then I moved my dresser out of closet. So bulky!! The flow of my room is so off now. I just can't seem to get it right. I'd put it back in but I really hate how crammed my closet was getting. I couldn't reach anything. I really don't like that dresser. Not only the dresser itself but the fact that it's crammed with things. Most of which I do use. What I don't use are things that Daniel would get mad at me for getting rid of. A deck of cards, a card game scrabble slam, a book of mad libs. I wish he would take them. Oh well. I'm to the point now where I just about like everything I have. Now I'm on to simplifying what I do like. I really need to get those DVDs copied. I have a big camera bag for my lomo camera that I really need to use. The bag is so big though. It takes up so much space. If I do get rid of it I only spent a dollar. The zippers are broken too. I have two big purses I don't use. They were somewhat expensive but just too big. Maybe I can sell them or give them to my mom or sister. I'd like to keep one but idk. The rest of the stuff I have will be somewhat painful to get rid of.