I want white walls

I had them in the last house I lived in. And the one before that. I miss them. I particularly miss the house/walls before this one. The house (rented) was like brand new. All the walls were white, tan carpet, no holes in walls until I got there. I wasn't really with the minimalism yet. Iwas still young and *wince* taped pictures from Psychology Today to my wall. In a rental. I don't know what I was thinking. Along with endless thumbtack marks. Ahhh being a teenager. I'm out of that now. But man do I miss those walls. I've never had a bright room though which is kind of depressing. It's always really dark. The only plant that doesn't die in my room is bamboo.

Oh yeah, sooo things are happening in my personal life. My mom is more likely than not divorcing my step dad. Not that he did anything wrong...they're just not compatible. No needless to say, you only live once, and she's not happy. She's in her early 40's and I would say subtly going through her mid-life crisis. I honestly don't blame her. I'm not going to get into more details than that, but I will say I support her. So what comes with that? Moving. We wouldn't be able to continue living in the house we live in now. Which honestly I'm happy about. I hate this house it's WAYYY too big. Close to 3,000 sq ft. Nobody can keep up with it! Nobody is ever home. The dogs have destroyed it because nobody's home to train them and let them out. My mom for whatever reason let my sister get a dog who has been destroying furniture. The house just sucks needless to say. It's a lot for someone to handle who's home all the time much less one who's not.

I don't know what's going to happen with me. She will more likely than not get a 3 bedroom. Which means I'm probably either sharing, or getting booted. I'm engaged, but wasn't planning on moving out for another year so I guess the engaged part makes it "better" for my mom's conscious, but I don't know. She hasn't officially said what's going to happen, but I'm scared. If it does happen, I'm hoping to move in with Daniel and his mom. There's enough free bedrooms for me not to be a burden, but I can't help but feel like me being there would still be a burden. I've thought about my sister, Daniel, and I getting an apartment, but honestly, she's a slob. And she has that dog that chews and pees everywhere that I despise. Daniel and I have talked about it with her, but told her there was NO WAY that dog was coming. Him and I are cat people to begin with. I'm sorry, but I am OCD caliber neat freak. She is the opposite. If she cleans up her act then maybe. But we'll see what happens. I guess more motivation under me to get me to have that yard sale. I want to soon, but the weather has been terrible here. It was warm and sunny and now it's cold and rainy. Lovely Georgia. Anyway, a look into what's been going on here lately.

Thought I'd take a few pictures

 This is what I carry around in my purse every day. I don't really want the spray. I'm trying to use it up. Also, the notebook is kind of weird. I bought this Hello Kitty grab bag when I knew I shouldn't. Now I have a notebook that I will probably never use. That silver thing is my wallet. Inside I have: license, bank card, tax return gift card, school i.d., and my insurance card.

 Here's all the bigger stuff I use on a day to day basis. I use that pink rag thing ( I think it's a baby washcloth or something) for getting make up off. A lot more green than cotton balls or tissues! There's contact solution in there that's upright. I forget to put it down.

Here's the smaller stuff I use. A lot of it is brushes, but different brushes do different things. The eye shadows I don't really even use that much, just every once in a while. I'm not really an eye shadow person, but sometimes I just want a little different of a look.

As you can see, I've gained some stuff and lost others. I'm mostly pleased with what I have right now. There's a couple things I want to lose: 1. Body spray from my purse (bombshell from Victoria's Secret) I thought I liked the smell, then once I started wearing it I realized I didn't. 2. Only 1 pencil eyeliner 3. Hello Kitty notebook. Things I feel weird about: 1. Eye shadow. I don't know if I use it enough to keep it. Maybe only a few times a month 2. Make up brushes. Some I like, some I don't. The ecotools bristles are really stiff and kind of hard to use. 3. "Naughty & Nice" body spray. I like it, but I don't know for some reason I don't really want it. 4. Burt's Bees hand cream. I barely use it. It's good for winter when your hands are really chapped, but I don't have that problem right now so I'm not using it much. Everything else in the pictures I'm satisfied with.

Hahahah this is so true

Kind of retired my "Book of Goals"

I was reading a blog the other day, and came across a statement along the lines of "the best goal to have is not to have any goals". At face value, it seems stupid. But then I started thinking about it. If I don't have those things staring me in the face, they're less likely to stress me out. Don't get me wrong, I still have goals, but I've written them in other places. For example, all my "minimalist" goals are now written in my diary. I've saving my book for more short term goals like doing homework or making phone calls. That way I'll still have the fire under me, but for the things that are priority, instead of making everything priority.

Since making lots of progress towards becoming my version of a minimalist, I've crossed off a lot of my to-dos and don't have much left. So that could be another reason I'm doing it. Something I also did was rip out all the pages that were filled. Sure they're accomplishments, but why not start over? They're not really relevant anymore. Why focus on the past? Doing so made me feel more free. I wish I could just convert to using only a planner, but for some reason planner = school to me. Maybe I will one day, but to scratch my OCD itch, a separate book works.

Tax Refund

It's that time of year and everyone is getting back their tax refunds. I got mine back, and what have I spent it on? Clothes :D. I'm happy about it because I've really needed clothes as I've mentioned. All of my other clothes just don't fit right. I've gained weight, which is depressing enough to begin with, but when your clothes start not to fit it really sucks. I can still wear almost all of my jeans, they're just tight. Also most of my shirts are short. I don't like it. It's annoying to adjust and I don't want people I'm trying to show anything off because I'm not. But almost all the clothes I bought are black or grey. Not because I'm sad or depressed or anything, but because that's the style I'm liking right now. But they're all neutral which is good.

I realized today that I'm scared of non-relationship commitment. I love my fiance and will marry him, but when it comes to painting my walls or buying an iPod I freeze. What color do I pick? Will I be happy with that in 6 months? Will I end up wanting to donate it? So needless to say, neutrals work best for me. I don't mind though, because I know that whatever I buy will work with anything else.

So yeah, just kind of felt like writing. This is turning more into a personal blog, but that's ok. I don't have any followers anyway.

Just Writing

I'm not exactly sure what I want to write about, but I kind of just feel like writing. I feel like I've kind of hit a bump in the minimalist road if you couldn't tell from my [odd] last post. I really felt like I was starting to get to where I wanted, until I went through that attic. I remembered when I put some of the stuff in there that I wasn't completely sure if I wanted to get rid of it or not. There's probably about 10-15 clothing items I came across that I couldn't stand to see go. For half of it, because I need clothes. The other half, because they are shirts that my fiance likes on me or are some kind of band t-shirt that I got from a concert or something (which are always expensive).

I'm kind of frustrated with myself, because I want to go as digital as possible, but there are a few things I really want to not have but can't get rid of. For example, I don't want to get rid of a couple of cds and dvds because they are rare. The band (my favorite) ( I have a cd and dvd for them) technically doesn't exist anymore. They were an artsy group comprised of members of other bands that only created three albums, played 4 shows, and deleted their website a few months after the last album came out.

There are a few other things that are just favorites that I know I'll miss. I really don't want to want them, but I just do. Oh well, I guess a little media won't hurt. Keep only what is useful and beautiful. Those are my minimalist words to live by, so I guess it fits!

My room is in complete disarray

I'm not exactly sure what came over me today, but for some reason I wanted to take everything out of my outbox attic thing that belongs to me to try and better organize it.  Well, that hasn't fully happened yet. I plan on fixing it later on tonight after Daniel leaves for the night. It's all stuff I want to get rid of. Then once I started going through the stuff I came across a few books that I can't decide if I want to keep or not. It's frustrating to me because I've got along fine without them. The books are about painting techniques and they're in almost perfect condition. I haven't used them. However, the last few days I've been getting back into drawing and painting. So now I'm kind of confused. I guess I'll see how I feel around the garage sale. I want to have it in 3 or 4 weeks. I just have so much stuff! Not only in my attic, but in the garage! I have like 6 bankers boxes full of stuff that didn't sell last time. I would've taken it to goodwill last time, but I'm going to try selling it at my house instead of my fiances. His house is a lot harder to get to than mine is. Mine is off of a main road so I think I'll have better luck. I can't wait until it's all really gone. It's all kind of "gone" in my head because it's not in my room.



Ok so I wrote that a few days ago it's been in my browser for like 3 days. I'll write something updated later. Can't type much now.