Getting Married

I really just want to hurry up and be married! People are always asking about it and I never have any news to tell them. Neither one of us can support ourselves right now. I'm gonna start looking for a new job within the next few weeks. We both need new jobs.

I'm excited to be married! I just want the wedding itself to be over with. I'm not one of those girls that's dreamed of the perfect white wedding since I was 5. Honestly I think it's because I don't have any friends. I don't have a wedding party besides my sister. There's someone I'm thinking of asking but that would only be 2 people. I barely have any family. The family I have I really don't even know and live in new york. I don't have anyone to get excited about the wedding with besides Daniel. Daniel's mom is excited. I just need someone on my side to be excited about it. I also don't have any money. At this point in time I cannot support myself and it's scary.

I really just want to be out of the house. I'm tired of not being taken seriously. I'm tired of hiding things from adults. I just want to be myself!

on a different note, I bought a photography book today from the thrift store! Now I just need to read it. It's a 1987 textbook. But it starts with the basics and deals with film cameras. Sure I could just look up that stuff online, but I don't know I just want to do it this way. I would like a dslr, but who wouldn't? At this point I don't even have a point and shoot. We'll just have to see. I do have a birthday coming up. Obviously I don't expect a super great camera right off the bat.

Happy New Year!

I didn't really think about my resolutions much last night, but if I had to say what they were now it'd probably be what I've already talked about:

Finding a hobby
Doing more yoga
Finally getting married and starting our lives

I had a pretty good new year's with my family. I had to work though which sucked, but oh well.

Man I can't wait until April. I'm going to be 21 on the 24th. I'm really excited. I want to go to the shooting range and go to a bar called The Brick Store in atlanta. Daniel went there on his 21st birthday and he loved it. Originally I wanted to get a tattoo, but I can't decide if I want to or not. If I did I would get a grey scale feather.

This is probably where I would want it.

The feather itself would probably look like this but with more black. 

I've got time to think about it. There's so many tattoo ideas and places that I love, but I'm scared to get them. Mostly because I want a job.

Man right now I am so bored and still can't think of anything to write about.  I just cut my bangs like an hour ago. Not really exciting.

I really want a hobby

Maybe I can make that my new year's resolution. I really want to try photography. I've always wanted to. Daniel bought me a Holga camera for I think it was christmas last year and I've only gone through one roll of film. I don't know anything about it and it's really expensive to get developed. I got the roll developed and only like 1 or 2 pictures were ok. For 2 pictures it was still over $10. I wanna say like $16. I need to get my own film developing kit. It'll be expensive at first, but I don't know. I think it could be worth it. If I really get into it maybe I can get a nice digital camera.

I really want to do more yoga too. I actually really enjoy it. I just need to make time for it. I need to get into shape! But who doesn't right?

Oh yeah that epilator hurts like hell. I keep trying and trying. I'm not going to give up. But I'm kinda sad because even with all the pain the results aren't that great. It's making red marks on my legs for every pore a hair gets yanked out of. It is pulling the hairs! My legs just aren't as smooth as I had hoped for. Maybe it will be once the pores clear up. I've only been doing my legs and that's supposed to be the least painful spot! I can't even imagine doing it anywhere else. My pain threshold should change though. I'm hoping. I haven't even got 1 leg done! I've only worked on the bottom half of my legs and they're not even done.

Well I guess I should get some sleep. My stomach is hurting for some reason.

Results

from what I wanted to complete before the year ended:

What I Completed:

Taken a picture of the art I don't want and got rid of it
Done with the journals thing since they're gone
got rid of the future stuff
just about completely converted to physician's formula (not worried about eye shadows. I still need to get the pencil liner)
Got a flashdrive for christmas (I still need to back up my stuff though, but I've had problems with my portable hard drive)
Went through keepsakes. I got rid of what I could for now

What I didn't complete:

pay library fees (I guess I still could before the new year)
get rid of stuff in "get rid of pile". I'm still mulling some of it over

Pretty good progress! I'm overall pretty satisfied. I haven't been thinking about my room as much lately. There's really not much else I can do.

I've been really anxious lately. I found out I no longer have health insurance. Being a hypochondriac and watching grey's anatomy has not been helping. It's so hard not to think about it. It's just this like sinking feeling. I'm hoping the situation gets solved soon. 

Awesome Christmas! :D

I had a really good Christmas this year! From Daniel I got a car stereo (I got that before Christmas), from my dad I got $150, from Daniel's mom I got an awesome luggage set, a monogrammed really soft and heavy blanket, a flash drive, tire gauge, and candy, she also got a big keurig for the both of us!, from Daniel's aunt and uncle I got a $25 gift card for bath and body works, from my sister I got a $50 plato's closet gift card (I cannot believe that), from my parents I got $175, a $90 epilator (I cannot believe that either!) and physician's formula mascara and eyeliner!

I had a really good year. I can't wait to buy some clothes!

...

I keep getting these ideas for posts which I know are dumb. I'd want to write them, but then I'd feel like I'd look like a fool or something if I posted them because of how unimportant they are. Do I write them and look like a girl who only cares about herself, or do I not write them and hold out?

I hate feeling boring

Ugh. But I don't know what would make me feel more interesting. Interests and hobbies probably. I'm not passionate about anything. Besides minimalism. But that's not a hobby. I like to write, but not really anything besides this blog. I don't know. Just feeling down.